Tuesday, March 16, 2010

American Idol -- Game On

Finally. The Top 12 performs. Now the competition really begins.

No, not the singers on television. THE competition. The annual American Idol pool!

Am I serious? You bet your booty I am. I'm the reigning champ and to the victor came the spoils in a sizeable check. There's even more to be won this year because we have 60 people competing. Stay tuned!

As for tonight's competition at the Kodak Theater... What was with Ryan's rictus at the opening? Somebody shrink his shorts?

Big Mike's so good. He has the whole package with vocal performance, movement, charisma and stage presence. I'm worried that people will automatically think he's safe and not vote for him.

Does Kara think the Rolling Stones died after their last tour? She talked about them in past tense.

The Stones have a huge catalog of songs but Didi picked the most boring of the bunch. The judges were largely complimentary but I think they were taking it easy because she was only the second to perform.

I'm paraphrasing here, but basically, Casey's mother practically said, "Please vote for my poor brain-damaged boy." I sort of liked his performance although he pretty much out-Bucky'd Bucky Covington. Not that that's hard.

Props to Ellen for self-deprecating lesbian wit.

Lacey reminded me less of the Stones and more of William Shatner performing the Stones -- and why did she have her Granny's old slip wrapped around her waist?

Andrew Garcia gave an inspired performance... inspired by Michael Buble doing the Stones.

Tim Urban's parents must have been responsible for him getting beaten up often in grade school. Hell, they could get him beat up in Hollywood for sharing the tender story that his sisters pretty much cross-dressed him at an early age. His reggae-influenced rendition of Under My Thumb was Bob Marley meets Bobby McFerrin meets Bobby Sherman. On the upside, I know a dozen Tiki bars in the Florida Keys who would book him.

Siobhan studied Adam Lambert's tapes and stole a page out of his playbook. For the record, I said that before Kara!

I adore Katie. She won't win, but she's my aunt's hometown girl. The best thing that can happen to Katie is for Leanne Rime's first producer to sign her. He knows how to turn a teenager with a big voice into a big star.

Question... Who pays the contestants monthly bills for the whole time they're out in Hollywood and not working at their jobs?

I never understood why so many people liked Lee until tonight. He delivered one of my favorite performances.

Holy hell. Where has THAT Paige been the last few weeks? She was great -- and she did it with laryngitis.

I'm sure I'm not the only person who snickered that Aaron's mother's name is Kelly Kelly. I know it's her married name, but still. I will forever be grateful that my parents didn't name me Stella Stella. As far as his performance, I guess it was good. Personally, I think if he gets any more white bread, someone's going to spread peanut butter and jelly on him when he isn't looking.

Yo, audience members up front, you had two jobs: Cheer wildly and wave your arms in synch. You just screwed up one of those jobs. How hard is it to move your arm to the left and then to the right?

Did Kara find some of Paula's old Valium in a dressing room somewhere?

I thought Crystal was terrific. No matter what happens someone's going to sign her and I want to buy her album.

Now I have to decide who I think will be the next American Idol and who will be the runner up. Then I need to pick which three singers will get the least amount of votes this week and who's going home.

There's a lot of work involved in this pool, but what a payoff!

Stella out.

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