Cold in So. FL vs Cold Anywhere Else

I looked at this just seconds ago on Weather Channel:
WIND CHILL READINGS BELOW 35 DEGREES IN THE MIDDLE KEYS OVERNIGHT.

This is definitely a new experience for me down here. There are people who have lived all of their lives in the Keys and never experienced temperatures this cold unless their A/C quit in the middle of August and they stuck their heads in their freezers for momentary relief.

It's cold all over the country right now, it seems. Those of us in South Florida really shouldn't complain too much because next week the temperatures will return to the 70s here while in the rest of the U.S. . . . they won't.

Elsewhere, snow might be falling. Down here, it's iguanas. They're cold-blooded and when it's this chilly, they can't move so they lose their grip in the trees and tumble to the ground. Most of them survive the fall and are fine once the sun and warmer temps hit them. I watched a news report that suggested we wrap the iguanas in warm towels and move them into our garages. No garage, then perhaps in a spare bathroom. Uhhh. I don't think so. As soon as that critter warms up, it's going to start hurling itself against the walls and doors trying to escape. I never developed iguana-wrangling skills and have no idea how I'd get the panicked thing out of my house.

There's no question that the rest of the country is better prepared for wintry weather. Half of the homes in the Keys don't have heaters. Why pay for something you don't normally need more than a couple of nights a year? (Luckily, mine does.) People up north have thick coats, furry boots. We're searching for socks to wear in our Crocs. I don't know what the hell we'd do if the roads iced over. Down here the only thing close to rock salt is reserved for margarita glasses.

Snow tires? Only if someone's smuggling cocaine in an odd place.

If the last few weeks are any indication, it's going to be a long cold winter. For you.

For us, this snap will be a memory. We'll be in the middle of high tourist season when all of you come down here to escape the weather.

Today notwithstanding, our winters are nicer.