What Are They Thinking?

Have you ever watched characters in a television or movie show and wondered, "What the &#$& are they thinking?" I think, really, we're saying, "That's stupid. Don't DO that!" We're not only questioning their choices, we're also making a value judgment.

Granted, I think that some of the time, the shows want us to suck in our breath and shout at the screen. They've built the tension on purpose and let us see the danger or uh-oh moment lurking around the corner. While we're questioning choices, we're also wishing we could warn the characters, "Stop! Before it's too late!"

Unfortunately, all too often, the show or movie "jumps the shark" and just makes the characters look like dumbasses. Then I'm more likely to wonder, "What the $#$& and I thinking watching this show?"

Stuff like this happens in real life. We see family members or friends risking heartache, professional snafus, financial messes, and what not and want to jump in with the, hopefully, kinder version of, "What are you thinking? You don't want to do that!"

I've been on both ends of that -- giving that kind of advice as well as receiving it. Understanding how someone implying that I'm out of my mind for considering a particular course of action makes me defensive as hell, I finally wised-up. I think I've gotten much better in the way that I listen to friends and offer suggestions.

Actually, I try to avoid giving suggestions. It isn't my function as their friend to tell them what I think they should do. I'm not the one who will ultimately field the consequences of their decisions and actions. Instead, I try to help them spread out their options and consider the possible results of each.

I'm employing what someone just explained to me as the Platinum Rule. The Golden Rule suggests we treat others as we would like to be treated. The Platinum Rule says treat others the way they want to be treated.

I'm mulling this over right now because it applies to a character I'm developing for a story. Up to the point of the book's beginning, she's lived her life to everybody else's expectations. For several excellent reasons, she's broken away from that pattern. There are people in her life who don't approve and they're delivering the, "What the #&*@#& are you thinking" message loud and clear.

My character doesn't like this, and at the same time, it's difficult to not feel like she has to justify her choices or consider their displeasure. It's even harder to reject that displeasure and not take the actions that will make them happy.

Difficult, but not impossible. She's learning how and that's all part of her growth.

Anniversary

Some dates sneak up on me sometimes and then I look at the calendar and feel the clench to my heart. Today's one of those days. My father died on this date 27 years ago.

I still miss him. How could I not? Dad was an amazing man. My grandparents had very little money. Grandpa came over from Sicily when he was young and Grandma was born here to Sicilian immigrants. They believed in the American dream that opportunity was available for those who worked hard and reached high.

Dad epitomized the American dream. He worked, studied and excelled. Academic and athletic scholarships meant he could become the first of his family to attend college. He served in the Army in WWII, earning a Bronze Star. The military service qualified him for educational assistance so he could afford graduate school and medical school.

He went to Atlantic City for his internship and residency and that's where he met Mom. They fell in love, married, and eventually had my brother and then me.

Dad was an exceptional doctor, specializing first in OB/GYN. He and his partner delivered most of the babies in the area for several years. In the 60s, recognizing that there was a need for cancer treatment, Dad switched specialties. He and a colleague commuted by train to Philadelphia every morning for three years so Dad could study radiation oncology. He finished off his training in that field with a year at a cancer institute in Paris, France. Oh, what a year we had on our European adventure.

I resembled Dad a lot -- enough so that strangers often stopped and asked me if I was his daughter. Then they'd tell me how he delivered their kids or treated their parents or helped them through one of the charity organizations in which he was involved.

He was revered and loved by his patients, colleagues, friends and, of course, by his family.

My parents were, and remain, my heroes. 27 years later, I still miss him and get choked up writing this post.

Love you, Dad.

I Like to Be Under the Sea

Last weekend, friends and I traveled to Dry Tortugas National Park. For those unfamiliar with the Florida Keys, the Dry Tortugas are roughly 70 miles west of Key West and only accessible by boat or seaplane. The islands out there were originally called Los Tortugas because when Ponde de Leon discovered them, he saw an abundance of sea turtles (Tortuga-Turtle). The word "Dry" was added to note that there's no fresh water source on any of the islands.

The day trip is awesome. After leaving home at 5:45 a.m. for the hour drive to Key West, we soon boarded the large Yankee Freedom power catamaran (www.yankeefreedom.com) for a two hour cruise across breathtakingly beautiful water. Deep clear blues, greens and turquoise like melted gemstones surrounded us. We kept watch for marine life as we sped along and spotted several sea turtles, some traveling dolphins, a few rays and a lot of flying fish.

As we neared the destination, we spotted a variety of birds including stately frigate birds, brown noddies, terns and others flitting and perching, welcoming us with their sounds.

The biggest island is the home of Ft. Jefferson. Built in 1840, the fort was later a Union garrison and prison in the Civil War. Probably the best known prisoner was Dr. Samuel Mudd who was accused of conspiring and assisting John Wilkes Booth.



History is interesting, but to be honest, I was all about the snorkeling. Once on the island, all we had to do was put on our gear and walk off the beach into the cool, glass-clear water. If you look at the picture above, you can see that there's an exterior wall around the island. Beneath the water's surface, that wall is home to a variety of soft and hard corals, aquatic plants, and different species of fish.

When I snorkel, even though I swim at the surface, it feels like I've entered a different world. Sounds from above the water are muffled. I hear only the sound of my own breathing, amplified to Darth Vaderish inhalations, and the crackle and pop of fish eating from the corals and rocks.

Cool water slips like liquid silk over my skin and I glide, buoyant, looking through my mask. Time, worries, and everything else in life are shelved somewhere else. Nothing exists except the water, me, and the beautiful underwater world beneath.

The day was one of the best I've ever experienced. I can't wait to do it again!


What must have been 100,000 or more glass minnows swam beneath me.


Soft corals abound on the outer moat wall.


Fish everywhere, easily seen in the crystalline water.


Gorgeous!


My friends during a break from snorkeling. Hurrah!